Connecting to Your Body with Love
Do you feel disconnected form your body?
Is the only connection to your body through negativity, hatred, guilt, or shame?
Do you want to feel AMAZING and fully connected to the skin you're in?
Are you ready to take a big step toward LOVING & ACCEPTING your body?
If you answered YES to any of those questions, you're in the right place!
Why do you feel disconnected in the first place?
If you dislike your body, hate looking in the mirror, pick yourself apart, or loathe the skin you're in, chances are you've been in that place for a while. Often times, we sit in that hatred for months, years, even decades before deciding it's got to change.
Sitting with that discomfort, that hatred, is exhausting. It will drain the very life from you. This is a huge stressor for many, and when we are confronted with a stressful situation, what do we as humans do?
We react with a fight, flight, or freeze response. This is usually in a survival type situation, but I know from experience that sitting with this pain can sometimes feel like life or death. It feels like it's threatening our survival.
The feeling of disconnect can be much like choosing the flight response. We run from the pain. We don't want to feel that shitty, awful, negative feeling anymore, so we choose to stop. We choose to numb. After all, it can feel better to numb than to sit in that pain and self-hatred day after day...
Why is it important to reconnect to your body?
It's important to reconnect with your body for a few reasons!
Firstly, to begin the process of loving (or even accepting) your body, you must be willing to look at it. To confront those feelings and to face it.
Any relationship you have requires communication. Whether it be with a partner, a friend, a co-worker, or yourself, communication is key. If you're going to learn to get along with your body, you've got to open that dialogue!
Secondly, it feels AMAZING!
At first it might be hard, it might be confronting, you may feel like you want to run again. I urge you to sit with the discomfort and persevere. Get curious. Trust yourself enough to know that you can handle whatever feelings arise through the process.
Once you're out the other side the load that comes off of your shoulders is unreal! Truly, this is life changing work.
Thirdly, because whether you believe it or now, you are SO WORTH IT! You are worth any effort, any energy, any roadblocks. You deserve this.
That's all well and good, but HOW do we do this?
I'm glad you asked!
The following is a series of questions. This is modified from an exercise I love to use with my 1:1 coaching clients and it can provide some powerful insights!
Please get a journal and work your way through these. Go slow, take your time, be gentle with yourself.
1. What does the negative voice inside your head say to you? What statements come out?
This may be something like: "you're fat.", "you're ugly", "nobody will ever love you", "you don't deserve happiness", or something similar. We're looking for the statements that your inner voice says. Get curious and record whatever comes up.
2. What emotions are attached to those statements? There may be only one, or there may be many. For example, if your inner voice says: "you don't deserve happiness", how does that make you feel? Sad? Angry? Alone? Worthless? All of the above and more? Write them all down.
3. Close your eyes and scan your body gently for a moment. If there was a place where these feelings, this judgement lives, where would that be? This is often that body part that you have the hardest time loving & accepting. Or perhaps the one that causes you the most grief and frustration. Take a moment and tune in, you'll find it.
4. Take a few deep breaths and concentrate your energy and focus to that spot. If that body part had a voice, what would it say to you? This can be a confronting question, and even slightly confusing, but be patient and ask. You may be surprised at what comes up for you. Do your best to get 2 or 3 (or more) answers to this question. What does it want to say to you?
5. Let's suppose this judgement has a positive intention for you. What might that be? And why was is using a judgement as a way to get your attention? ALL judgement has a positive intention, even if we can't always see it. Perhaps it didn't want you to get hurt by others, so it kept you from being vulnerable. Perhaps it wanted you to be happy and this was a twisted way of getting you there. Find the positive intention(s) behind the judgement.
6. Take a few slow, deep breaths now. Check in with that body part and notice now that it's been heard and been invited to a conversation with you, what feels different? Perhaps there's been a big shift, a slight shift, or nothing at all. Just notice, feel around, check in. Get curious.
7. Now we're going to talk with that inner critic. Being open and allowing anything to flow that feels right, There are four questions: anger, fear, request & love. Take a deep breath, open up, and complete the following sentences as your inner critic:
1. I'm angry at you for...
2. If you don't change, I'm afraid you will...
3. I recognize you want to live your best life ever. My request is that you let go of ________ so that I can ________.
4. I love you! You deserve...
8. Based on the insights and lessons from these questions, what actions will you take within the next 24 hours to connect to your body? Please create an action step for yourself!
Some suggestions include committing to changing that inner critic, joining and participating in the Body Love Tribe, or reaching out for help.
Do what feels good to you!
Bonus: Body Love Breathwork
When I work through this sequence in full with my 1:1 clients, I always give them this breathwork video as homework.
It is about 15 minutes long and is designed to be the next step on top of all that has been covered in this post.
I encourage you to set aside some time and work through this lesson! Ideally you'd do it in a place you can lie down comfortably and have privacy.
When we disconnect from our bodies, we stop feeling. We numb. This gets you back in your skin feeling, touching, and experiencing what it's like to be in your body right now.
That's up to you.
You are in complete control of what comes next!
I strongly encourage you to complete the questions above in great detail. Take some time, journal it out, or discuss it with a friend. Be brave and dig in.
Reconnecting to your body is not always easy. It's not butterflies and rainbows. It can be hard. It can be messy. But it can be done. And it MUST be done if you ever want to turn your relationship with your body around!
This work is challenging, but it is also life-changing.
I believe in you. You got this.
Do you want more like this? Interested in finding out what coaching looks like?
Check out the Look & Feel Great Naked Transformation program here and see what it's all about!
Schedule your free Discovery session with me here and we'll dig into your goals, why you're stuck where you are and discover how to get you closer to your goal!
Do you want to be part of a life-changing community of women who are dedicated to supporting each other, raising the vibe, body love, self improvement, and all things self care?
Of course you do!! Join the Body Love Tribe here.