So what makes you so uniquely broken? This is perhaps a strange yet deeply profound question. It's one I was asked by one of my coaches and that literally changed my life path.
This is part 2 of the paradigms that I live and coach by. As a refresher, a paradigm is a guideline. It's a basis for how we operate in daily life and can determine how we deal with and react to things. It is not a rule or a law, simply a suggestion to look at things a different way. Think of it as a sort of life framework.
To learn what the first 5 paradigms that I live and coach by are, plus check in to the idea that you've got the power in your life, simply check out last weeks post! But without further ado, here is part 2 of my paradigms...
6. You are responsible for your emotions and reactions.
Stepping up and taking responsibility for your happiness and experiences can be challenging but is also incredibly empowering. Nobody can make you feel anything if you don't want it. It is a choice to be angry. A choice to be frustrated. A choice to be happy. It is a choice that is often so deeply programmed and happens in an instant that we don't realize we can change it, but in fact we can. Often we hear people say "but she made me feel....." and someone else is blamed. If we turn the table and realize we are in fact the only ones in control of ourselves, then it's on you to create your own reality. Sometimes this is hard as it means taking responsibility for the difficult stuff too, but in the end means we are in charge of creating the life of our dreams!
7. It all starts with a single step.
Just begin. One of the coaches at my school uses the phrase: "Every master was once a disaster." and I love it! Nobody goes from absolute beginner to reaching all their dreams overnight, You can't learn everything in one shot. It takes persistence and effort, but you can get there. The key is you have to start. If you don't begin then your failure is guaranteed.
8. Transformation is a continual process of letting go.
In order to invite new things or experiences into our lives and transform the way we want, we must be willing to let something else go. Think of your life like a room. If you want to bring a new chair in but refuse to take the old one out, it will become crowded and uncomfortable. You do that a couple of times and pretty soon the room is chaotic and makes you feel overwhelmed. Same with our lives. If you want to invite a new experience, a new belief or a new positive habit in, you must be willing to move an old one out.
9. Beauty, health & happiness is possible at every size.
For years now the message of thin = beautiful = healthy has been everywhere in the media. And to be frank I reject that message. I could go into this in detail, but suffice to say that in my life I've known many people who were naturally quite thin and lean but who were very unhealthy physically and mentally. They didn't take care of themselves and didn't radiate any sort of light or beauty. I've also known larger people who were absolutely gorgeous. Who took care of themselves, but who weighed more than society deemed "acceptable" or wore a larger dress size than they would've liked.
The fact is that we are all different and unique. No two bodies look the same and healthy looks different on everyone. Also we are beautiful if we believe we are beautiful. Beauty is in our differences and uniqueness, not our similarities. This may seem like a foreign concept to some, but once it becomes part of your wiring it just doesn't make sense to think of things any other way.
10. We are all inherently worthy of achieving our wildest dreams.
Hell yes! Say it with me people! For years I was guilty of this. Of thinking everyone else could achieve their dreams but not me. This all changed when I was asked by one of my coaches: "What makes you so uniquely wrong? What makes you so much more messed up than the rest of us that somehow you're the only one who doesn't get to achieve your dreams? How are you so special in how you're broken?" And I had no answer... The fact is I'm not uniquely broken. I'm uniquely human. Just like everyone else on this planet. And there are millions of people our there living their dreams simply because they believed they could and they put the hard work in. So why not me? And why not you?
Which flower is the "right" one? Which one is the "wrong" one? They are all different, so one must be the good one and one must be the bad one, right?
There is no one way to be a flower. Just like there is no one way to be you.
Lots of love and support coming your way.