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STOP doing this if you want to truly LOVE what you see when you look in the mirror

So you want to feel at peace in your body and appreciate yourself?


You want to love what you see in the mirror and embrace all parts of you?



This may come as a surprise, but some of the things you’re doing to try to reach those goals are backfiring big time.


But wait, how could this be?


Because there’s a good chance that you’re playing the easy game. Looking for that single thing or magic pill that will fix it all.


Most people do.


It’s human nature to want the easiest solution to any challenge. To look for the quickest path. To ease the pain as soon as possible.


We are hardwired this way to avoid pain and seek out pleasure.


Unfortunately when you’re dealing with a challenge that runs deep, like not loving who you are or being miserable each time you look in the mirror, it means that you end up trying a hundred surface level things to solve it only to have none of them actually work.


That’s simply because you need a deep fix and instead you’re getting a flimsy band-aid solution.


This can look like:

  • Reading dozens of self help books and gathering all the knowledge in the world, but not knowing how to actually implement it

  • Practicing positive affirmations for a little while but still feeling like you’re lying to yourself every time

  • Assuming your body is the problem, so you try yet another cleanse, fad diet, or start a fasting regime in the hopes that changing your body will change how you speak to yourself

  • Going on a shopping spree and getting a new wardrobe, hoping that new clothes will make you like your reflection just a little bit better

  • Seeking out inner happiness in vacations or spa days in the hopes that getting away will create real lasting change and contentment

These aren’t all inherently bad. In fact for many people they may play a part in creating a loving relationship on the inside.


But that’s just the thing, they play a part. They’re NOT the whole solution.


They are just surface level activities and don’t address the hidden beliefs and stories that are causing the inner critic to be loud, that self-judgment to run wild, and the self-loathing to remain unchecked.



What to do?

Stop reaching for surface level solutions to deeper challenges

It’s time to commit to doing the real work. The inner work.


To re-work those childhood beliefs. To change that inner dialogue. To discover your inherent worth and enough-ness.


When you do this, your life will transform in more ways than you can imagine:

  • Caring for your health & wellbeing becomes a no-brainer

  • That inner critic will quiet down and create space for more positivity, growth, and free up a ton of mental space

  • Your wallet will thank you – going on endless holidays, shopping sprees, and weekend getaways that you thought would bring you happiness comes with a price tag. That money will be freed up to be spent on what actually matters!

  • Your family, your work, friendships, and everything else that you value will get more of you

  • Your time will open up when you’re not reading a pile of self-help books or constantly worrying about the next thing you need to try

  • Your energy will skyrocket – it really is incredible how hating on yourself really is truly exhausting

The fastest way I know to do this is to work with a professional who’s trained to facilitate this type of change.


To dive deep and really look at the key issues.


Here’s the thing – if the self-help books, diets, new clothes, holidays and affirmations were the answer to your big problem – you wouldn’t be here.


They would have worked already.


You don’t have to stop learning or using affirmations. And by all means, if you want a vacation, please take one!

The key here is simply to detach the outcome from the action. Meaning it’s key to understand that those things on their own won’t really help you love who you are. They are tools, but not the whole solution.


So, if you’re serious about learning to love the person who you see in the mirror unconditionally, it’s time to commit to the real work.


Stop reading, stop hiding, stop slapping band aids on.


Get real with yourself and heal the inner wounds so that you can move forward feeling empowered and well and truly loving and accepting of the person you are!



Note: This article was originally published at www.thesocialzinc.co.za

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